Broken Body, Broken Spirit, Broken Heart
by Miki87
Summary: Continuation on the story by BreakEven01 with BreakEven's permission. I very much liked how he envisioned it playing out so I wanted to continue it and lead it to the end :
1. Disclaimer

**Disclaimer**

I don't own Friday Night Lights or any of the characters this is just a fictional story of „what if" nature set during Season 2 of the show.

Story was started by BreakEven01 but he/she couldn't finish it and as I was intrigued by the way story was constructed I asked permission to continue it in my own way.

First 2 chapters will be the same as BreakEven's to establish the storyline that was already written and I'll continue with my own writing from that point onward.

Thank you all and I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed reading and writing, especially cause it's all Matt&Julie here. (I'm not a Tulie fan :D)


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_Break-ups suck._

Matt thought as he made his way through the crowds of people partying and having a good time. He hated that all these people could be so happy and carefree while he felt like his whole world had been thrown away in the last 3 minutes. Julie Taylor, Matt's sweet, caring, and almost to good to be true girlfriend (well now ex-girlfriend), had just broken up with him at the pep rally for the new football season. It wasn't as if he was all that surprised, she had been slowly drifting away from him over the summer and by this time she almost untouchable to him, but that didn't lessen the pain. Julie had been his first girlfriend, his first love, he loves her more than anything in the whole world and it killed him that she didn't feel the same way anymore.

_"I'll always love you no matter what happens." _

The memory of her speaking, almost shouting, these words to him on the muddy ground of the home-made field the team had put together clouded his mind.

_Apparently "always" just got a whole hell of a lot shorter. _

He knew that when she has said "always" that she probably didn't mean that they were going to be together forever, but at the time it sure felt that way. Everything about her in the moment made his heart soar, the little smile that he had come to know as _his_ smile spread across her face, the look of being totally and completely head over heels in love, and the kiss they had shared had been like something straight out of a great romance story. And even though they were covered head to toe in mud, and in the week following it they had gotten a small cold that moment couldn't have been more perfect. But that was all over now.

Now instead of looking at him being totally and completely in love she looked at him with a look of annoyance and frustration. The smile he had come to know and love as the one she saved just for him was now being directed to the Swede she worked with. And forget about having a mind blowing romantic kiss, it was a rare day when they even bumped shoulders in the hallway.

Quickly that amazing memory he thought of as his favorite was being covered up by the image of the relieved look she had on her face when she had finally said that she wanted to break up. The stupid fake "it's not you it's me" speech she has obviously practiced. And the extremely small but obvious smudge of her lip-gloss that had been almost mocking him like it was saying "Ha loser, that's right someone else's lips have been here besides yours.".

_Stupid-ass Swede! This is all his fault! If he had just gotten a job at some other place in town this summer none of this would have happened!_ That was a lie. He wished it wasn't but if he was honest with himself then he knew that Julie's reasons for leaving started way before the Swede stepped into the picture. What those reasons for leaving were, he had no idea, but he knew they started a few weeks after State. They had a great few weeks of just being together and not having to worry about her moving to Austin, they spent most of that time locked away in his room lounging on his bed talking about anything and everything and just holding one another. The last time they had done that without Julie seeming a little different they had been talking about the future. The talk about the future that every boyfriend and girlfriend have where they pretend as if they are going to be together in two years or so. They discussed what would happen when he went off to college and how they would see each other during holidays. Then maybe a year after Julie got out of college they would finally get married and move to someplace that snowed during the winter. They decided they would have 2 kids and a small little dog who never got too big for the house.

He knew they were just joking around but for a moment they both looked at each other and he could tell they both hoped that it would come true, as stupid as that sounded. But then the next day something had changed. Julie started acting un-Julie like and so began the beginning steps to their break-up.

He stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the party and looked around him. He had to get out of here, this party was just too much right now and he really couldn't handle it.

"Hey Seven!" he heard his number being called out. He looked around to find Smash and some of his other team members waving him over, "I KNOW you aren't leaving yet, right?" Smash shouted to him. Matt put on the best fake smile he could and headed over.

"H-Hey guys," he stuttered, "great party huh?"

_Quick small talk than I got to get the hell out of here_**.**Smash raised his eyebrows, "Are you serious Mattie? If this party could get any more lamer it would be a 6 year olds birthday party." he looked around to make sure no one was looking then pulled a tin flask out of the inside of his jacket and gave it a little shake, "We are bringing the real party over to the school parking lot, you in?"

Matt looked at the flask for a moment then back at Smash, "Smash I don't think that's a good-" he was about to say "idea" but a wave of blond hair came into view behind Smash. Julie was heading into the ranch house with Lois dutifully by her side. He had thought she had left after she had torn out his heart and stomped on it. Apparently not. Seeing her still here enjoying the party was like salt being rubbed into gapping whole in his heart. In what was like flashes in his mind he saw it all over again, her look of relief, her fake speech, the smudged lip gloss. It all ignited something within him, not agony for the loss of his first love, but a loathing for the bitch that she had morphed into.

"Mattie are you ok?" he heard Smash ask him.

He looked at Smash who looked almost scared, "Yeah, I'm fine." he said through his clenched teeth.

"You sure? You look a little pissed off." Smash said. Matt looked at the flask in Smash's hand and he grabbed it from him.

"Can I have this?" He asked taking a swig not caring what Smash's answer was. As whatever it was that he was drinking hit the back of his throat Matt felt a full blast of the burning as it made its way down. It was such a strong burn that it almost covered up the pain that came with every beat of his heart.

He swallowed what was left in the flask then dropped it to the ground and asked, "Have anymore?"

Smash had never seen Matt like this before and truly didn't think he had it in his to down a whole flask in one setting. Whatever was making Matt act this way must be something bad but right now he wasn't complaining because it meant Matt would be joining in on the party.

"You better believe we do!" Smash said putting Matt in a somewhat head-lock and dragging him and the rest of the team out of the boring "party" and onto the real party.

* * *

"You and Matt broke up?" Lois asked with a concerned voice as she and Julie sat on the front porch of the ranch house.

Julie nodded, "Yup, we are officially over."

"Are you ok?" she asked putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Lois I am the one who broke up with him. It was my idea. Of course I'm ok." this was a lie and she could tell Lois knew it too. She usually was a much better liar than this but she was the one who did the breaking up so she had to pretend to not be bothered by it. Truth was it had been one of the hardest things she has ever done but she knew it had to be done. Matt loved her more than anything and if she let him he would eventually get down on one knee and ask her the one question most girls spend their entire life waiting to hear. But she didn't want that. Not now. Not when she sees everyone around her starting new relationships and ending them. Not when she has been watching Tyra have so much fun being single and just dating, not being in a "relationship". That's what high school was suppose to be like, it wasn't supposed to be finding the one person you were going to spend the rest of your life with.

She knew Matt was ready, he was ready to settle down, get a job, buy a house, get married, and spend the rest of his life in Dillon watching Panther football games every Friday night. Julie wasn't ready for that. She wasn't ready to become her parents. She didn't know if she ever would be. She loved Matt, she knew that, but she wanted to also have options. Whenever she told that to people they automatically thought she meant the Swede, the guy she had been crushing on since the beginning of summer, but honestly it had nothing to do with him. Sure she liked him and she planned to keep seeing him but she needed a break from the constant guilt she had for not having the same feelings Matt was having.

"Do you not love him anymore?" Lois asked.

Julie's eyes went wide, "Of course I do! It's just complicated." she tried to explain, "He and I just want to different things."

"Like you want the Swede and Matt wants you?" she joked.

Julie narrowed her eyes and glared at Lois, "Not that's not what I mean, and that's not even funny." she spat at her.

Lois raised her hands in defense, "Ok sorry I didn't mean it. But come on, a part of the split had to be because of the Swede."

Ok yeah Julie liked the Swede but she wouldn't make any big almost life changing decisions because of him. She wouldn't dump her boyfriend of almost one year because of him.

"No it has nothing to do with him." she said.

"But-."

"I SAID NO! DROP IT!" Julie shouted at her than stood up.

Lois looked surprised by the outburst, "Julie I'm sor-." Julie cut her off.

"Look I'm sorry I didn't mean to shout. I'll talk to you later." Julie said rushed and ducked into the party.

* * *

3 more shots and 1 and a half beers later it was safe to say Matt was almost completely smashed. Smash tried to get him to do a few more shots but when he started singing on someone's truck Smash knew Matt had had one too many. After much struggle he and Landry finally got Matt to sit and drink some water.

"Man I have never seen you like this before," Smash said sitting next to him on the bumper.

Matt took a few deep breaths and leaned over trying not to puke, " The ground is spinning," he choked out, "why is the ground spinning?"

"Well Matt that's what happens when you decide to drink all of the alcohol in Texas," Landry joked as he leaned onto the truck, "I mean what the hell has gotten into you?"

Matt sat up, "Julie broke up with me. It's over. We're over," saying it out loud seemed to make it more real. Almost too real. Matt had the sudden urge to have another drink.

"Julie Taylor broke up with you?" Smashed asked sounding almost shocked.

Matt glared at him out of the corners of his eyes and spat," Did I stutter?"

"I-I can't believe it. Sweet little Julie Taylor broke up with you," Landry shook his head in disbelief, "What'd you do?"

Mat shifted glare to Landry, "Why would you assume I did something wrong? Just because _Sweet,_ _Innocen _ Julie couldn't possibly do anything wrong say like cheat on the guy who loves her with some dirty unshaven Swedish asshole who probably doesn't even realize the damage he has caused to my life," Matt looked sadly at the ground and mumbled, "He probably doesn't know how damn lucky he is."

They all three sat in silence for a minute watching all the people having a good time walk by until Smash couldn't stand to stay quiet any longer, "Ok enough of this pity party, hows about we find you a new lady? Someone better than Julie Taylor." Smash exclaimed excitedly as he stood up, Matt just shook his head 'no', "Oh come on Mattie I am sure there are plenty of bigger and better fish in the sea."

"I don't want a bigger or better fish, I just want Julie, to me she is the biggest and best there is," he mumbled.

"Matt she doesn't want-"

"Shut it Smash ok?" Matt snapped at him.

Landry raised his arms up between the two and said, "And on that happy note I think it's best if I get you home Matt."

"I can take myself," Matt cut him off.

Landry shook his head, "No no you can't you can barely stand on your two feet you are not getting behind a wheel," Landry stepped over to Matt and hauled him to his feet, "Come on my car is over this way."

The drive to his house couldn't have taken more then 15 minutes but to Matt it felt like an eternity. The flood gates to the past were still wide open in his head and each memory came crashing into his head like a tidal wave. Every conversation they had had. Every kiss they had shared. Every promise they had made. It all just kept floating in, each bring its own new set of pain making him long for the sweet release of the alcohol to numb this uncontrollable pain that ached in ever part of his being. He just wished that all this pain could be transferred somehow to Julie. So she could feel the complete and utter torture she was putting him through. Even though he still loved her with his whole heart, right now there was a thick blanket of total hatred for her that was almost stronger than anything he had ever felt.

Matt was so lost in his own thoughts that he barely heard when Landry had said they were at his house.

"Do you think you can make it to the door?" Landry asked as Matt took off his seat belt.

Matt nodded, "Yeah I think some of it has worn off so I should be fine," he opened the car and said as he got out, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Landry wasted no time speeding off after he saw Matt take the first few steps to the front door ok. All Matt could think of was getting to his room and sleeping until he could forget about this horrible day. That thought though soon disappeared as he heard a twig snap from the side of the house covered in shadows.

At first he thought he had imagined it but then he saw something move within the shadow. It was a sort of a blob shape at first until it got closer to the light and facial features became recognizable. Then two and three and four more shapes also came into the light. The quarterback, running-back, and tailback and a few others of the Milbank football team stepped forward. Matt knew instantly that this wasn't good, they are the first team of the season that the Panthers are playing tomorrow night and Matt overheard Smash talking about how he had heard they were planning on doing something to make sure we didn't make it to State this year. What they had planned, no one knew. But as Matt watched the Milbank's quarterback raise the baseball bat he had been hiding behind his back Matt realized, this was it.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Julie wait!" Lois called after her, "Where are you going?"

Julie had been standing in the parking lot calling and recalling her house trying to get someone to pick up. As the answering machine picked up once again her angrily pushed down on the redial button.

"I'm going home. I just need time to think," the answering machine picked up again and she hit the end button.

_Great a new baby comes and it seems everyone forgets the other child._

"To think about breaking up with Matt?" Lois asked behind her.

Julie rolled her eyes and turned to face Lois, "No, why do you keep bringing Matt up? I broke up with him don't you think that is kind of indicator that I don't want to talk about him?" she asked.

Lois took a step closer, "Listen I know you seem to have it in your mind that the Swede might be more, I don't know, fun than Matt but I think you are making a big mistake," she paused, "Matt loves you and what you are doing to him is unfair."

"First off his name is Anton, ok A-N-T-O-N," she said slowly trying to force it into Lois's head, "Second what I _was_ doing _was_ unfair, but I broke up with him so it isn't unfair anymore," trying to justify it.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night right?" Lois spat at her.

Julie eyes narrowed getting angrier, "Where is this sudden need to take Matt's side coming from? If I remember correctly you didn't want me going out with Matt in the first place. Why the sudden change of heart?" How dare she take Matt's side. She was her best friend isn't it a best friends job to take the side of the other best friend not the side of the ex-boyfriend?

"I stopped taking your side when you stopped acting like Julie. I don't know who you are now but I can sure as hell tell you I'm not liking it.." she shouted.

"Fine if that the way you feel then this friendship is over too! If you feel so bad for Matt go be his best friend!" Julie shouted back.

"At least he is acting like himself!"

"You know what? You can go and f-," suddenly Julie's phone started buzzing like mad in here hand. She had so much more to say but at the moment she was tired and just wanted to go home. So she quickly clicked the TALK button without looking at the ID, "Mom finally where have you-"

"Julie Taylor?" an unfamiliar female voice asked.

Julie lowered her voice, "Yes, who is this?"

"I'm Cathy Robinson from Dillon Medical," she answered with sober tone in her voice almost sad.

A million different thoughts went rushing through Julie's head at that moment. Had her mom been in an accident, or her father? Was baby Grace ok? Did a grandparent die? What was going on!

"Is everything ok? Has there been an accident? Is it my mom?" her voice sounded frantic.

"Julie is everything ok?" Lois asked noticing the scared look in Julie's eyes.

"No it's not your mom, but there has been an accident. We found your number under emergency contacts in Matt Saracen's cell phone," Cathy explained.

"Matt?" Julie's voice got even more serious and scared.

"Yes about a half hour ago he was found by one of his neigbors beaten in front of his house."

Julie's eyes went wide and started filling with tears, "What? He was beaten? But he is ok right? He's going to be fine?"

"We don't know yet he was rushed into emergency surgery, they are doing whatever they can," Cathy said calmly obviously trying to get Julie to calm down and not sound so frantic. But it wasn't working. Julie had started breathing hard and the tears that had been threatening to fall finally started pouring over and she let the phone drop from her hand.

"Julie?" Lois looked almost as freaked as Julie felt, "What's wrong?"

"M-M-Matt was attacked. He was b-beaten," she stuttered, "They have him in emergency surgery right now."

Lois's eyes went wide, "Oh My God."

The tears were now falling hard and she could barely breath all she could hear was the distant voice of Cathy still on the voice saying "Miss? Miss?" over and over.

Not even 15 minutes later Julie was busting through the hospital emergency room doors and marching up to the nurses station. She was trying to keep on a brave face but she could barely keep herself standing. After her mini-break down at the party she had picked herself up and called a taxi and headed straight for the hospital leaving Lois looking completely confused. She had felt bad for what she had said to Lois before she got the call about Matt but at the moment she felt like that was a lifetime ago. All that matter right now was Matt and whether or not he would be ok.

"Excuse me." Julie said to a nurse who was currently on the phone. The nurse held up a finger to her telling her to wait a moment. Normally Julie would have waiting patiently but this was not normally and Julie defiantly wasn't patient, "I said EXCUSE ME," she said louder and angrier.

The nurse looked up at her, "Can you hold on for just one moment?" she said sweetly.

"No I cannot. My boyfriend was found beaten lying literally on the side of the road and I am not going to wait for you to get done with whatever the hell it is that you are doing to find out whether he is dead or not!" Julie shouted making many people turn their heads to watch this little _Terms of Endearment _moment that was happening right now.

The nurse looked at her computer screen and clicked a few buttons, "Name?" she asked, without the sweet tone now.

"Saracen, Matt Saracen," Julie said trying to look at the screen.

The nurse typed something then clicked on her mouse a few times then finally looked back at Julie, "Matt Saracen isn't out of surgery yet. The waiting room is down the hall, you can wait there. I'll let you know as soon as he is out." the nurse said pointing down the hallway.

Julie gave a small grateful smile, "Thank you," then she walked slowly to the waiting room and sat down.

_How can this be happening? I just saw him a few hours ago. He was fine, well not fine I did just break up with him, but he wasn't being rushed into emergency surgery. Who would do such a thing? And to Matt! Everyone loved Matt, he was Dillon's new Golden Boy. Who would hurt such a sweet and caring guy?_

None of it seemed real anymore to Julie. The break up. Her so called feelings toward Anton. The idea that she didn't want to settle down yet. It all seemed silly almost. How could she had done what she had done? She loved Matt and knew that she would never find a better guy and yet there she went breaking his heart. What an idiot. She now wanted nothing more then take back the whole night, hell the past few months, and just start over. She wanted to go back into his room and fall asleep in his arms again like she used to every Saturday night, that's where she always felt the safest. She wanted to apolgize over and over and tell him she was being a complete fool to let him go and that every reason she had to breakup with him meant nothing now and she just wants to be with him forever.

_He has to be ok. He just has to be._

Suddenly her phone vibrated once again, this time she looked down on the CALLER ID and there it flashed HOME over and over. Julie clicked TALK and brought the phone up to her mouth, "Mom." she almost whispered.

"Julie Taylor where in God's green earth are you? Do you have any idea what time it is?" her mom ranted.

"Mom," Julie whispered again, "Mom you need to come to the hospital." Julie's voice cracked on the brink of tears again.

It got really quiet for a moment then her mom said, "What happened? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. It's Matt," Julie paused, "he could be dying."


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3  
**

Julie was sitting on the edge of her seat, tapping her foot restlessly as she waited for news about Matt. She saw her mom enter the hospital and she threw herself in her arms.

"Hun, what happened?" Tami asked as Julie burst into tears again.

"M-M-Matt-t was found beatten in front of his house." Julie muttered, her face buried in her moms sweatshirt. "And I... I broke up with him tonight. What if he dies mom? I lo-ove him... and he's in surgery and doesn't know I made a mistake."

Julie burst into tears again her sobbing masking her muttering "He doesn't know he's the one."

* * *

When Julie composed herself a bit Tami brought her to the chairs so they could sit down. "Hun do you know what exactly is the problem with Matt?" Tami asked.

"No-o." Julie responded wiping her tears with her shirt sleeves. "They wouldn't tell me. Nurse said they can only release pertinent information to family."

Tami nodded. "Ok. Hun you stay here I'll go check it out." With that she rose and walked over to the nurses station. "Excuse me. Hi. Could you please tell me status of Matt Saracen."

Nurse looked up at Tami. "Are you family ma'am?"

"No, but..." Tami responded but before she could continue the nurse interrupted her. "I'm sorry ma'am but I can't release patient information to non-family members."

"Look now. That boy's father is in Iraq and his grandmother suffers from dementia so he takes care of her. On top of that he goes to school, football practice and work every single day and yet he still finds time to be with my daughter and be the best damn boyfriend a mother could wish for her little girl. Now he may not be my blood but he is family and I want to... No I need to know what's wrong with him!" Tears started streaming down Tami's face as well now as she added "Please."

Nurse stared at her for awhile and then typed something in the computer. She looked up at Tami. "He has a broken clavicle and severe bruising. Concussion and four broken ribs. He also has a sprained wrist and two broken fingers on his right hand which were most likely caused by struggling and fighting back. The biggest issue is that one of the broken ribs punctured his lung and currently he's in surgery to repair the damage. Ma'am if anything new comes up I'll inform you right away. Best thing you can do now is wait and comfort your daughter." Tami held her hands over her mouth suppressing her sobs as she realized the nurse is right and she has to be there for Julie. "Thank you." She said to the nurse who gave her a nod and a small smile.

Tami made her way back to Julie who was talking on her cellphone. "Mom's back." Julie handed the cellphone to Tami "It's dad." Tami took the cellphone from her daughters hand and sat next to her. "Hey hun, could you grab me a cup of coffee while I talk to your father?" Tami asked Julie who nodded and left. "Thank you." Tami called after her. She put the cellphone to her ear then. "Hey hunny. Is Gracie ok?"

"She's fine. She's sleeping." Eric replied. "How's Matt doing?" Tami sighed and ran her hand trough her hair and then rested her elbows on her knees. "He's in surgery. He has four broken ribs and one of the ribs punctured a lung. And some other injuries I forgot now." Tami was silent for a bit. "Oh, I'm worried hun. And not just about Matt, about Julie too."

"Why Julie?" Her husband asked.

Tami sighed again. "I think she's feeling guilty."

Eric was silent on the other side before asking "Why guilty?"

"Well..." Tami started and then leaned back in her chair thinking how to summarize it for Eric before Julie returned.

"Matt's her first boyfriend and both Tyra and me were always talking about our first boyfriends and how Matt is a good first boyfriend compared to our experiences. And I think all that talk made her think that Matt's just a stepping stone to other boyfriends. During summer she told me that as a joke her and Matt were discussing the future and that she could actually imagine it perfectly and visualize herself being with Matt forever and it freaked her out. That's why she was flirting with that Swede guy that works with her at the pool. But mostly I'm worried about her because she acted on her fears and broke up with Matt tonight and if anything happens to him I don't think she'll ever forgive herself."

"Honey." Eric said after Tami finished with her speech. "Don't worry. Matt is resilient. He'll pull trough and everything will be fine."

Tami smiled. "Thank you hun."

* * *

Julie rested her head on the coffee machine while she waited for the thing to finish making the beverage. She kept playing her break up with Matt in her head. The hurt she saw in his face the raw pain that flashed in his eyes before he turned his back to her and walked away. Julie realized she'd do anything to never see that look on his face again.

_Please be ok Matt. Please be ok. _She thought.

Julie flashed back to Panthers State semi-final game, the "Mud-bowl", last year and remembered the joy she felt when she flung herself at Matt and the truth of the words that she said to him then

"_I will always love you, no matter what happens." _ Julie wished she'll be able to tell him those words again.

"Jules!" She recognized her mother calling her. Snapping out of her reverie she saw her mom walking to her.

"Mom?" Julie asked fear creeping into her voice.

"It's ok Julie." Her mom said as she gathered her into a hug.

"He's out of the surgery the doctor said it went perfect. He's still unconscious but we'll be able to see him soon."

Julie squeezed her mom tighter and burst into tears again, but this time they were tears of joy.

* * *

End of chapter 3. Sorry it took me a bit longer to update had some computer issues. I also apologize for the shortness of the chapter. I expect future chapters will be longer and hopefully I'll be able to update regularly.


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